Duece

Yesterday was my last tennis class, and guess who I got to play with...

That's right, my French friend Fromage!
Apparently he was in another tennis class and decided to go to mine to make up a day he missed.

Luckily he didn't make me feel worse about my ineptitude of the French language, and we instead decided to resolve our differences where it really mattered, the TENNIS COURT.
Instead of exchanging witty one-liners we instead exchanged red-hot serves, which literally exploded into flames, just like NBA Jam for the Sega Genesis, except more tennis.

It was a close one, but I managed to get my team on top by strategically letting my parter hit all the balls for me.
The plan worked flawlessly, as long as Fromage didn't hit the ball directly into my direction. Despite a couple mess-ups on my part, the Fujisarasaki Clan (what I silently named our team in retrospect) claimed the win.

After the epic battle, which also involved a CGI army of warrior Gnomes, Fromage and I wished eachother the best and parted ways.
It was a bittersweet parting, but I have a feeling we'll meet again someday when we least expect it.

Until then, it's Match, Set, Point.

Take THAT Nigeria!

Multi-tasking

Today I saw a blind man strolling through campus using a walkingstick and talking on his blue-tooth cellphone at the same time.
And I thought, now there is a confident American.

Now I'm not one to judge a blind person, but I would like to point out this man's unbridled hardcore personality traits.
Here is a man who reserves the right to use a walkingstick, yet completely negates it's purpose by listening and talking to someone through a cellphone attached directly to his ear.
Yes, I understand walkingsticks also provide the means to "feel" around areas. But I figure the day I go blind I'm going to cherish the few senses I have left and leave my calls on hold until I get to safety.

But who knows? I thought. Maybe this guy is the ultimate multi-tasker.

But as I watched him stroll from the sidewalk, into the grass, and towards a fountain, I decided it would be best if I left and let YouTube handle this situation.

Afterall, that's what it's made for.

My Artistic Self

These are pictures of my life-sized self-portrait I had to make for my life drawing class.



It's a lot tougher than it looks, all I used was a mirror and I couldn't really bend down, look at myself, and get my feet that the same time. But I managed (mostly with some strategically placed waves).
Still, I like it.



Also, it kind of looks like I'm wearing eye-liner.
ha, yeah, heh, I definitely, um definitely wasn't wearing THAT while I was drawing. Ha, ha. No siree! No eye-liner for this guy!
excuse me...



Which one is the real me?! I don't know. Looks like you'll just have to shoot the both of us...

You can imagine the sheer number of dangerous roof-top scenarios that the above picture got me into. After all, how can you convince someone holding a gun that a somewhat closely resembled silent image of you isn't the REAL Zack Newcott?
Right answer, you can't.
And now only I, Zack's evil self-portrait remains!
MWAHAHAHA!!!

where's my eye-liner?

New Song Sunday - The Gray Knight

This week I ended up reminded of the best movie ever.
That's right, BATMAN: Mask of the Phantasm

Check out this retro-review.


I remember seeing this in theaters and freaking out over how awesome it was that certain characters actually shed blood on screen.
It's seriously pretty dark.
And oh so amazing.

Anyways, I felt compelled to write a song about one of my favorite scenes in the movie.
This one's called, the Gray Knight.

http://www.box.net/shared/tvn8gm5yoo

Introducing the iFelt

So recently a certain lovely girl I know had her computer monitor smashed in a freak bunk-bed accident. I felt so sorry that I decided to get her a new computer altogether.

So after standing outside overnight and forking over enough cash, I managed to get my hands on a brand new iFelt!
Before I sent it off, I managed to grab a couple snapshots. It's meant for her, but I think think the world needs to experience it.



For those that don't know, the iFelt is only the latest revolution in modern technology. Thanks to advances in state of the art engineering and programming, the iFelt is a COMPLETELY WIRELESS accessory. As such, the iFelt can be used virtually anywhere. As if that wasn't enough, it's even thin enough to fit inside an envelope.



It's not impossible, it's the iFelt!

The iFelt even allows you to visit ANY website and turn it into THESE specific three websites!
For Free.



Check out this felted version of the Dramatic Gopher!



Or a felted LOL Walrus!



You can even steal this Lolrus's Bukkit!



Oh NOES!

And of course, I think we can all agree no iFelt is complete without a Felted version of "What What in The Butt."



What websites remain to be felted? Fat Star Wars Kid? Tron Guy? Sneezing Panda? The possibilities are endless.



-Zack

Wristcutters - The Best Movie No One Bothered to Tell Me About

Wristcutters: A Love Story
*****

I really loved this movie.
You might not.
But I really, really loved it.
More of a charming fantasy than anything else, Wristcutters follows Zia, who after committing suicide, finds himself in a parallel world. It's practically the same world he just left, except this one happens to be inhabited only by other suicide victims. As he notes, it's the perfect punishment.

With nowhere left to go, he becomes accustomed to his lifestyle. This world has certain rules. For example, there's no smiling. That doesn't mean people can't have fun, but it serves as a constant reminder. Further, suicide falls under a certain kind of theological gray area. So the world isn't perfect. As in the case of Zia's friend Eugene, who apparently has a black hole underneath his passenger seat. Or the inexplicable tendency for some people to unwittingly perform miracles.

Besides the obvious, everything is fine until Zia finds out his ex-girlfriend has recently offed herself in Zia's wake. It becomes his mission to find her.

Of course, there are countless comparisons we can make between this film and others before it. Death and the afterlife have been tackled before in movies. Most notably of course, the opus of Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey.
Let us give that film a moment of respectful silence.
So we're not strangers to the concept. But Wristcutters is refreshingly low-key, even down to earth. The only special effects are minimal, sparse, and somehow charmingly dated. What the film thrives on is it's characters.
The concept itself is a brilliant catalyst for this. With a world populated by suicide victims, everyone, even those in the background, have a story. Everyone is there for a very specific reason, often a painfully private one. But in a world free of the burden of hiding this secret pain, there is a strange sense of freedom.

Wristcutters has it's flaws, but I like that. It's not perfect, but it's affective. It's touching, funny, and endearing.
I highly recommend watching it.

Goldilocks and Her Night At The Movies

I had my last official meteorology class today (not counting my exam next Tuesday) and I decided there was no better way to celebrate than with a night out at the cinema.
Being both cheap and having low standards, I decided to go to a sneak preview of this movie:



Made of Honor starring heart-throb Patrick Dempsey, and featuring his eyes as piercing as they are inviting, calmingly lulling you towards a sea of affection and warm caresses. I was sitting in the audience beforehand and quickly found myself in one of those situations where all the couples walking in made sure to leave one open seat on each side of me so as to separate themselves from myself.

So here I was, watching all those pairs of couples entering and I thought, "well, at least there's a chance I could get a free Made of Honor promotional t-shirt." But then I realized it was some kind of "ladies only raffle." So I went back to the old standby of pretending to look at cell-phone messages.

I couldn't take it, so I pretended to go to the restroom and on the way scouted out another option. On the way back I sneaked into this:



Harold and Kumar 2. Hey, the first one was kind of a guilty pleasure. So I looked forward to the humorous anti-Maid of Honor debauchery that awaited me behind the double swinging doors.
Beyond those doors I realized there were maybe two people in the last row.
Briefly, I considered sitting directly next to them, just because, but thought better of it and sat down somewhere near the middle.

20-30 minutes later I felt like someone was kicking my conscience in the face with a steel-toed boot filled with all the foulness of the world. It was just like the original, except without any of the charm, ignorant innocence, or humor.
Despite the VERY occasional clever quote, I realized there was no way I could justify the fact that I was still watching this, alone. Somehow, I found myself missing Patrick Dempsey, and his eyes that twinkle with every star of the cosmos in the midst of a supernova blowing my mind away in a wave of passion.

So I left.
And scouting out one more time, I pulled a Solid Snake...
"SNAAKE!"

And I snuck in to see this:



Baby Momma, with Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and, nobody told me this, Steve Martin.
And it was quite good.
Not amazing mind you, but quite good. Funny, clever, and charming. Also it had Greg Kinnear, who's eyes are far technically superior to that of Patrick Dempsey (And I'll fight you on that).

Yes. I felt much like Goldilocks, sampling the three movies until I found the one that was just right.
That, and also I was wearing a dress and braided my hair.