Semi-Pro - Movie Review

I once heard of a man who could tell you, without thinking, exactly where he was on any given date in his life. Only in my nightmares would I dream of having that gift, have someone walk up to me, ask "Hey Zack, where were you on Valentines Day night 2008?" and then be forced to respond with a mumbled "semiproscreening" with a loud cough to cover it up. No, I didn't have a date. Apparently girls have better things to do on Valentines day other than watch a Will Farrell movie with me. Like boyfriends. Or makeup or something.
Who am I kidding, they were probably at a different screening.
What? Oh yeah, the movie. It's a Will Farrell movie, except rated R. So basically it's Dodgeball with swearwords and a basketball. Other than the foul language, I really don't see why they thought going unrestricted would help the film reach it's targeted audience. All the best jokes here are the cleanest in the movie, and I have no doubt you've probably seen parts of them in the previews while watching movies with your own girlfriends in the soft comfort of their enclosed arms as they wrap themselves around your neck and whisper sweet nothings into your ear.


Sorry, I was somewhere else for a second. The movie has it's fair share of problems. The most obvious is the ironic notion that it clearly doesn't want to just be another Will Farrell movie. In some ways I consider this almost admirable. After all, I think the world is getting sick of all the Old School rip offs. However, the film only truly shines when it occasionally glimpses into Will Farrells wacky gimmicks as the team promoter. There are some really funny bits here. Particularly one involving a bear. The rest of the time the film focuses on the character played by Woody Harrelson, an emotionally torn basketball veteran playing the sport he loves. His performance is really quite good, but unfortunately there's really no reason for it. People paid to see an R rated Will Farrell movie, not Coach Carter.
Actually, come to think of it, I don't think anyone paid to see Coach Carter.
The film is splintered between innocent fun, crude humor, comedy, and tragedy. None of it really manages to ignite that spark we have all so longed to experience. No, my friends, there's no love for Semi Pro, just a hollow shell where there once was a heart. It'll never feel the soft caress of a womans hand across his face as he pulls her close to his waist, looks down into her eyes and whispers "Now. And forever!" For their love was one that reality denied. A sweeping shadow in the east, waiting to be obliterated by the rising sun. For they could chase that sunrise all they wanted, but the ever-receding horizon is but a tease to the senses, a dream upon waking. But is that any reason not to dream? Is that any reason not to love?! Certainly not. Just as they say passion is a flame that burns eternal, love is like that ember that promises to ignite another day! Oh lonelyness, you cruel muse!

Cool. Right. So Semi Pro is an okay movie, not quite worth ten bucks to see, but still worth a place on a Netflix.
Until next time, my love. Until next time.

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