Reflections On A Day At The Mall

I spent today at the mall.

I saw a sign in a store window that said: "Low Clearance! Watch Your Head!"
I don't know what was worse. The fact that the sign exists, or the fact that I had to think for a solid ten seconds about it before I got the joke.

Get this. I was in Macy's, getting some sweet deals on a pair of slacks, when I saw a vending machine. I walked by it and realized it wasn't any ordinary vending machine. Oh no. This vending machine only sold iPods. I mean actual iPods. You know those hundred and something dollar gizmos that are all the rage? Yeah, they're available behind glass on a metal spiral that rotates and drops them a solid five feet into a little slot for your convenience. Amazing. I don't know how long it takes to feed a hundred and ninety nine dollars into a vending machine, but you certainly can do it if you would like.
Here's my question: What if it gets stuck?
Am I allowed to shake the ipod vending machine until it drops? Does the same rule apply for ipods as it does for Cheeto's? I mean, if two fall, can I keep the extra?

Subway charged me for a refill. D-Bags. I bought a BLT from them today and felt terrible about myself. I can usually convince myself that anything I eat is at least somewhat healthy, but I'm pretty sure tons of bacon, cheese, and lettuce on a bun had no little triangle on that food pyramid I saw in kindergarten, and I'm pretty sure that hasn't changed.

I'm in college. I feel like I still shouldn't be ashamed to look into a Victoria's Secret as I walk by. I just can't do it.


In case you were wondering how much of a nerd I am in real life, I got my "SLUSHO!" Hoodie in the mail yesterday and wore it non-stop.



Now you can go ahead and say this blog is just a ton of viral marketing.
Whatever, as long as it boosts my google ad clicks.
I need more money to visit the ipod machine.