5.08.2008

What Happens in Vegas - Review



What Happens in Vegas
**---


INT. 5,000 FEET UNDERNEATH THE NEVADA DESERT - NIGHT

The evil scientists congregate inside the super-secret conference room, which also for some reason has an evil hologram of the Death Star.


Super-Evil Scientist:
"Gentlemen! The summer solstice approaches, and with it the hearts and minds of a thousand women!"

Evil Scientist 2:
"And how to you plan on harvesting these so called 'hearts' my lord?"

Super-Evil Scientist:
"Not just their hearts, but their wallets as well. I have devised a scheme so vile and evil, no man could ever challenge it's brilliance. Evil brilliance, that is."

Evil and Gay Scientist 3:
"Oh do tell!"

Super-Evil Scientist:
"We will produce a romantic comedy about two naive single New Yorkers who travel to Vegas and end up married."

Evil Scientist 2:
"But my lord, I think that has been done."

Super-Evil Scientist:
"Yes... but did I tell you that they end up winning THREE MILLION DOLLARS and then must remain married for six months to collect the earnings?!"

Evil Scientist 2:
"No, but I think that also has been done before."

Super-Evil Scientist:
"Yes, but has it been done with... ASHTON KUTCHER and CAMERON DIAZ?!!"

Evil Scientist 2:
"Actually-"


Super Evil Scientist uses a death ray-laser-panther and kills Evil Scientist 2.


Less-Evil Scientist:
"You couldn't possibly expect this to work?!"

Super-Evil Scientist:
"And why not, I ask? Let's say for example we throw in some mildly amusing gags involving peeing in sinks and Ashton Kutcher being hit in the nuts?"

Less-Evil Scientist:
"But sire! Those jokes couldn't possibly hold up on their own out of the context of a trailer!"

Super-Evil Scientist:
"Of course not, but by the time the audience is inside the theater it will be too late."

Less-Evil Scientist:
"It couldn't possibly work."

Super-Evil Scientist:
"Did I mention the movie will also have... QUEEN LATIFAH?!"


The Less-Evil Scientist falls out of his chair.


Less-Evil Scientist:
"MY GOD! My God, you're MAD!!"


The Super-Evil Scientist looks out a window even though he's 5,000 feet underground.


Super-Evil Scientist:
"Mad? Perhaps. Perhaps... But one thing is for certain, by the time this film is released the world will be ours for the taking!"

Less-Evil Scientist:
"I hope you're wrong..."

Super-Evil Scientist:
"I know... BROTHER. And that is why you must... DIE!"


Evil laughter.

END.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

maybe you should be doing movie reviews for the chimes.

this was a horrid movie