Goldilocks and Her Night At The Movies

I had my last official meteorology class today (not counting my exam next Tuesday) and I decided there was no better way to celebrate than with a night out at the cinema.
Being both cheap and having low standards, I decided to go to a sneak preview of this movie:

Made of Honor starring heart-throb Patrick Dempsey, and featuring his eyes as piercing as they are inviting, calmingly lulling you towards a sea of affection and warm caresses. I was sitting in the audience beforehand and quickly found myself in one of those situations where all the couples walking in made sure to leave one open seat on each side of me so as to separate themselves from myself.

So here I was, watching all those pairs of couples entering and I thought, "well, at least there's a chance I could get a free Made of Honor promotional t-shirt." But then I realized it was some kind of "ladies only raffle." So I went back to the old standby of pretending to look at cell-phone messages.

I couldn't take it, so I pretended to go to the restroom and on the way scouted out another option. On the way back I sneaked into this:

Harold and Kumar 2. Hey, the first one was kind of a guilty pleasure. So I looked forward to the humorous anti-Maid of Honor debauchery that awaited me behind the double swinging doors.
Beyond those doors I realized there were maybe two people in the last row.
Briefly, I considered sitting directly next to them, just because, but thought better of it and sat down somewhere near the middle.

20-30 minutes later I felt like someone was kicking my conscience in the face with a steel-toed boot filled with all the foulness of the world. It was just like the original, except without any of the charm, ignorant innocence, or humor.
Despite the VERY occasional clever quote, I realized there was no way I could justify the fact that I was still watching this, alone. Somehow, I found myself missing Patrick Dempsey, and his eyes that twinkle with every star of the cosmos in the midst of a supernova blowing my mind away in a wave of passion.

So I left.
And scouting out one more time, I pulled a Solid Snake...

And I snuck in to see this:

Baby Momma, with Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and, nobody told me this, Steve Martin.
And it was quite good.
Not amazing mind you, but quite good. Funny, clever, and charming. Also it had Greg Kinnear, who's eyes are far technically superior to that of Patrick Dempsey (And I'll fight you on that).

Yes. I felt much like Goldilocks, sampling the three movies until I found the one that was just right.
That, and also I was wearing a dress and braided my hair.

1 comment:

Alex said...

I appreciate that only you can turn movie hopping into a brilliantly witty and endearing tale.

(And thanks for the heads up on Harold and Kumar.. It's disappointing because the first one really was mind-numbingly hilarious.)