I found out yesterday that my new apartment-mate spells his name J-O-N, instead of J-O-H-N like any self respecting John out there.
I'm just still getting used to him being around, but when it really comes down to it, I'm mostly getting used to his ability to constantly talk and make noises. Not that it's a bad thing, but around the time he started singing the "Empire Today Carpet" commercial jingle for no particular reason I started to realize it wouldn't ever end.
He went on to sing "Can You Feel the Love Tonight," then he digressed into some Phil Collins, and then talked about working out, and then back to Phil Collins again, I think. I don't really know, by that point my brain had started to register his voice as white noise.
Personally, I wanted him to get back to more Elton John songs. But that's just me.
I love that guy.
Maybe as much as I love these Ameriquest commercials.
I thoroughly enjoyed those.
But lets face it.
If there's any commercial jingle that will go down in the annals of history, I think we can all agree it's the jingle from Ring Pops.
If there's one thing I learned from my childhood Saturday morning commercials, it's that the only way to propose to a girl is with a lollypop on top of a sticky piece of plastic.
God bless you Ring Pops.
7.05.2008
I'll Tell You When I've Had Enough!!
This is something I've been meaning to write about for a while, but never had the chance to, mostly because I've only found it funny in retrospect.
Thomas the Tank Engine has always kind of scared me. I've never told that to anyone before, but he does.
I think it's his damn eyebrows. Somehow his face delves into that uncanny valley where I begin to fear the human soul trapped inside the massive piece of machinery hindered only by the track it was meant to follow.
Still, I am a man who constantly seeks a good deal.
If you don't believe me, ask the woman who works at the Dollar Store across the street from my apartment.
Today she honestly mentioned she had already seen me four times within two days and that she was going to "cut me off" before I hurt myself.
I told her what I tell everyone else, "I'll TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" And then I threw an empty bottle at the wall.
I only say this because I noticed the website Slick Deals had posted a coupon for "FREE" Thomas the Tank Engine toys at Toys-R-Us.
Taking a close note at the words "FREE" and "TANK" in the same sentence, I quickly yelled to my roommate my plan for the day. If I got him, and his girlfriend Sarah to get free tanks, I'd practically have an army big enough to take over Canada.
The only downside was that Sarah wasn't into getting a free tank. In fact, in her words, it was "retarded," "stupid," and "seriously, it's both stupid and retarded." I tried to convince my roommate to beat some kind of sense into her, but somehow, after an hour of nagging, we managed to get her to drive us to Toys-R-Us.
Moments later, we discovered the disturbing fact that Toys-R-Us was sold out of tanks.
That's right.
They were completely out of the Musical Caboose I so desperately desired.
While this was mildly disappointing to me, it was immensely aggravating to Sarah, who we had kindly convinced to drive us to the store and bring the coupons.
What's the moral to this story, you might ask?
Sarah should have driven us sooner to the store so we could have gotten our free musical cabooses before everyone else did.
The. End.
Thomas the Tank Engine has always kind of scared me. I've never told that to anyone before, but he does.
I think it's his damn eyebrows. Somehow his face delves into that uncanny valley where I begin to fear the human soul trapped inside the massive piece of machinery hindered only by the track it was meant to follow.
Still, I am a man who constantly seeks a good deal.
If you don't believe me, ask the woman who works at the Dollar Store across the street from my apartment.
Today she honestly mentioned she had already seen me four times within two days and that she was going to "cut me off" before I hurt myself.
I told her what I tell everyone else, "I'll TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" And then I threw an empty bottle at the wall.
I only say this because I noticed the website Slick Deals had posted a coupon for "FREE" Thomas the Tank Engine toys at Toys-R-Us.
Taking a close note at the words "FREE" and "TANK" in the same sentence, I quickly yelled to my roommate my plan for the day. If I got him, and his girlfriend Sarah to get free tanks, I'd practically have an army big enough to take over Canada.
The only downside was that Sarah wasn't into getting a free tank. In fact, in her words, it was "retarded," "stupid," and "seriously, it's both stupid and retarded." I tried to convince my roommate to beat some kind of sense into her, but somehow, after an hour of nagging, we managed to get her to drive us to Toys-R-Us.
Moments later, we discovered the disturbing fact that Toys-R-Us was sold out of tanks.
That's right.
They were completely out of the Musical Caboose I so desperately desired.
While this was mildly disappointing to me, it was immensely aggravating to Sarah, who we had kindly convinced to drive us to the store and bring the coupons.
What's the moral to this story, you might ask?
Sarah should have driven us sooner to the store so we could have gotten our free musical cabooses before everyone else did.
The. End.
4th of July
We decided to go to the beach for this 4th of July, which is a big deal to me because I can't remember a 4th of July I didn't celebrate in D.C.
Here is a pictorial tour.
This was our umbrella. People don't usually take pictures of their umbrellas at the beach and I can understand why. Frankly I had nothing better to do.
This is a photo of Anthony and Me with my eyes blissfully closed. Why? Because we're at the beach. No more questions.
This one was moments later.
This is Sarah and Sarah's British friend Emma. Being British, and on American soil during the 4th of July, I made sure to rub sand her face while referring to her as a "redcoat."
This is a photo of Anthony and Sarah about to hold hands. You don't always get the opportunity, and if you do, you usually don't have someone there to take a photo of it. So I did.
This is the restaurant that I pretend to own.
No 4th of July would be complete without seeing a man ride a giant unicycle, just like George Washington did while screaming "The Redcoats are coming!" on that cold November's eve.
Luckily he didn't die.
this is Sarah, Anthony, and Anthony's brother John waiting for the restroom.
This is the same photo, but minus the restroom. Unless the ocean counts. Which it does if you're really desperate.
That's John way off in the distance. He really enjoys talking non-stop about cars and working out, and then singing theme songs from advertisements.
This is a somewhat surreal photo of a seagull that flew past me.
The following are all photos of kites in the sky. See if you can spot them.
Now it's just photos of the beach.
This is what happens when I take a picture of the beach through John's sunglasses. Everything looks like the apocalypse just occurred, or something from the back of a Jack Johnson album.
It was a good day.
Charmed
I am very charmed.
This is a short film by Hillman Curtis called Bridge. It made me smile to myself and feel warm all over, which is something I should probably get checked out by a certified doctor.
cute.
This is a short film by Hillman Curtis called Bridge. It made me smile to myself and feel warm all over, which is something I should probably get checked out by a certified doctor.
cute.
7.03.2008
Time Travel and Fly Kicks
I was on Wired and saw this:
McFly Sneakers For Sale - Link
It's Marty McFly's sneakers from Back To The Future 2.
Nike has finally taken the effort to make them a reality, minus the self-tying laces. Only now they're being called the "Nike Hyperdunks," instead of the "Nike Air 2015 Kicks."
So that's pretty cool. Right?
The problem with most things involving time travel is that I instantly have to think about it.
Had "Back to the Future 2" never been made, the Nike Hyperdunks would have never existed. Back to the Future 2 was a prediction of 2015, so if Marty McFly's Delorean actually had worked back in the real-life 1985 we all know and love, he'd see his shoes actually exist. The shoes inspired by Back to the Future 2.
So here's my point. Back to the Future 2 has caused a time paradox, in which the idea for Nike Hyperdunks was created before it was actually invented. I mean, if Back to the Future 2 was real.
GREAT SCOTT!
Interesting though, isn't it? That our lives are so influenced by science fiction that we are starting to see inventions and designs based purely upon predictions set back in 1985. Does this mean we'll have JAWS 19, hoverboards, and possibly the flesh hungry robots from the Terminator in the next seven years?
I certainly hope so.
If you need me I'll be buying supplies for the impending apocalypse at the Dollar Store.
McFly Sneakers For Sale - Link
It's Marty McFly's sneakers from Back To The Future 2.
Nike has finally taken the effort to make them a reality, minus the self-tying laces. Only now they're being called the "Nike Hyperdunks," instead of the "Nike Air 2015 Kicks."
So that's pretty cool. Right?
The problem with most things involving time travel is that I instantly have to think about it.
Had "Back to the Future 2" never been made, the Nike Hyperdunks would have never existed. Back to the Future 2 was a prediction of 2015, so if Marty McFly's Delorean actually had worked back in the real-life 1985 we all know and love, he'd see his shoes actually exist. The shoes inspired by Back to the Future 2.
So here's my point. Back to the Future 2 has caused a time paradox, in which the idea for Nike Hyperdunks was created before it was actually invented. I mean, if Back to the Future 2 was real.
GREAT SCOTT!
Interesting though, isn't it? That our lives are so influenced by science fiction that we are starting to see inventions and designs based purely upon predictions set back in 1985. Does this mean we'll have JAWS 19, hoverboards, and possibly the flesh hungry robots from the Terminator in the next seven years?
I certainly hope so.
If you need me I'll be buying supplies for the impending apocalypse at the Dollar Store.
7.02.2008
My Little Dead Animals
Here's a little something I made for Beth's birthday. Frankly, I think it's going to be the new Beany Baby's of the future, aka, the felt equivalent of Dippin Dots.
It's a My Little Dead Animal! This one's a Hedgehog!
As you can see, the "X" eyes and protruding tongue clearly demonstrate that our Hedgehog is dead. But, not to fear, as long as there's plenty of LOVE and CPR techniques, there's a way to bring dead hedgehogs back to life.
There's a wind activated light-bulb inside the Hedgehog's stomach that is activated by blowing through it's mouth. (you might have to clear any obstructions, such as excessive cotton)
When it illuminates you can see the Hedgehog heart beat!
Now that you saved the poor little hedgehog, it's heart will only ever beat for you!
I also made a My Little Dead Bunny!
Link to Craftster Page
It's a My Little Dead Animal! This one's a Hedgehog!
As you can see, the "X" eyes and protruding tongue clearly demonstrate that our Hedgehog is dead. But, not to fear, as long as there's plenty of LOVE and CPR techniques, there's a way to bring dead hedgehogs back to life.
There's a wind activated light-bulb inside the Hedgehog's stomach that is activated by blowing through it's mouth. (you might have to clear any obstructions, such as excessive cotton)
When it illuminates you can see the Hedgehog heart beat!
Now that you saved the poor little hedgehog, it's heart will only ever beat for you!
I also made a My Little Dead Bunny!
Link to Craftster Page
7.01.2008
New Song Tuesday - Simple Man - Cover
Yeah yeah yeah, you probably don't want a cover. You don't really need a cover, you don't know what you would do with one.
Well I'm sorry. But I made one anyway. I really love this song, and for some reason nobody else has ever done a cover of it I actually liked.
It's Simple Man, by Graham Nash.
What's great about this song is that the worse you perform it, the more honest it is. I consider that a good thing, because I fairly screwed it up.
Simple Man (Graham Nash Cover) - Zack Newcott and the Chemical Cow
Next time I'll be more original.
I promise.
Well I'm sorry. But I made one anyway. I really love this song, and for some reason nobody else has ever done a cover of it I actually liked.
It's Simple Man, by Graham Nash.
What's great about this song is that the worse you perform it, the more honest it is. I consider that a good thing, because I fairly screwed it up.
Simple Man (Graham Nash Cover) - Zack Newcott and the Chemical Cow
Next time I'll be more original.
I promise.
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