Rumble In The Bronx - Movie Review

Rumble In The Bronx
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*****

I realize that my review for the recent film Black Swan is filled with big words and strange ideas. Now I'll level with you, I'm a simple man. Big words scare me. I'm not really sure where that came from. I can't even pronounce most of those words correctly on any given day, and when I do I'm probably mistaking that word for one that better describes the cheap bean and cheese burrito I just bought. So today I decided to review a film that really requires no words, a film in fact, that was probably written without any words whatsoever. This film, my friends, is the 1995 masterpiece Rumble In The Bronx starring Jackie Chan.

In this tour de force emotional roller coaster of a picture, Jackie Chan abandons his career as a police officer in Hong Kong to attend his uncle's marriage to a large black woman, leaving Jackie in charge of his store while the two leave for their honeymoon. If only Jackie Chan knew that a street gang has hidden stolen diamonds in the wheelchair cushion of a disabled boy living in the same neighborhood.

I cannot even attempt to understand the brilliant minds that went into crafting this story, which I should also add involves Jackie Chan at one point stealing a Delorean, fastening a large sword out of its door, and then proceeding to charge towards a massive hovercraft in the middle of the city. How someone comes up with this I'll never know. I'm like an ant hanging onto the rope of the Goodyear blimp.

Although the film was clearly made in the 1990's, after the technological breakthroughs seen in films such as Jurassic Park, stylistically Rumble In The Bronx appears to be a pure product of the 80's due to the colorful costuming, obviously dubbed voices, and unfortunate haircuts. In terms of the script the dialogue is crafted beautifully, especially in regards to the disabled boy who, after being thrown from his wheelchair by a group of gangsters, repeatedly whines "MY CUSHION!" despite all other concerns that a rational person in that situation would otherwise be preoccupied with.

Of course, Rumble In The Bronx is all about action. If you came to see Jackie Chan jump out of a truck filled with multicolored balls just in time for the truck to be pushed off of a building and send balls scattering through the streets, then you, my friend, know exactly what you came to see. In fact, you were very specific.

All in all, Rumble In The Bronx is one of the most satisfying viewing experiences I have ever had the pleasure to share with my friends. If you've never seen it, then I think you need to take a stroll through this majestic piece of history.