5.25.2010

I Got A Cavity In My Wallet That Needs To Be Filled

I think it's an important line you reach when you attempt to sell your body to science and science says no. After becoming unemployed I decided to once again place a lot of trust in criagslist and responded to a listing that offered paid dental work, provided that you were willing to be paid and operated on by a dentist taking his board exams. Considering that I had begun noticing a few holes here and there in my mouth I decided I'd be a perfect candidate.



After reading several copies of Cat Fancy in the waiting room, the hopefully soon-to-be-doctor came out with my x-rays and noted that although I did have a cavity here or there, the cavities simply weren't severe enough to justify being operated on.

"I'm so sorry," I told him, before realizing that I was apologizing on behalf of my surprisingly strong tooth enamel. As I sadly shook my head, I placed an arm on his shoulder and said, "Well, I guess I'll just take my check and go then..."

Once it dawned on me that I wouldn't be getting paid either, bitterness began to set in. Apparently my cavities weren't good enough for these people.

"Fine!" I yelled out in anger before throwing an article featuring Maine Coons in the doctors face. "Maybe I'll take my cavities elsewhere!"

"Somewhere they'll be wanted!" I added, with a tear in my eye.

It's a sick world we live in where a man can't make an honest buck for almost having minor surgery but not because it was deemed unnecessary. I thought this was America.

All things considered, I found the entire dilemma to be a great learning experience. The world is filled with so many opportunities to make money off of selling your body for medicinal experimentation, but when it really comes down to it you might realize that everything you need is really the same as everything you already have.

1 comment:

Timothy Burley said...

I've never encountered such money-for-your-teeth opportunity before. Perhaps because it's always me who shells out money for the dental services provided by my dentist in St. Petersburg. And maybe because I never visit craigslist. That was a good insight in the end, btw. Sometimes, we don't have to take every opportunity presented to us because it just might be unnecessary.