Well, it finally happened. I got invited to my five year high school reunion. Am I going to go? I'm just not sure. I think it really depends on what kind of semi-useless invention I can find to claim as my own idea and somewhat impress that no good principal of mine. Even though I don't remember his name and never actually talked to him, I bet he's a real stuck up jerk who would've hated it if I had covered the school statue of Walt Whitman with women's panties. I mean, if our school had a statue, if I knew who Walt Whitman was, or if I even knew how to obtain a massive collection of panties. They seem expensive.
So far I've narrowed it down to a few options:
1. Those little plastic things on the end of shoelaces.
2. The lids of Asprin bottles that you have to push down before opening.
3. That button thing on batteries that you press your thumb against to see if it has any life left.
I can't really make up my mind. In any case, I might just fall back to my plan of hiring a shirtless Abercrombie male model to go in my place and say I worked out a lot in college.
"Hey I'm definitely Zack Newcoat or whatever. Yeah, as you can see, I play soccer now. Uh... Yeah. I mean, that's what we call football in England, where I live now. Everything there is backwards and it's awesome. Now let's party. Newcoat style."
To be honest, I'm not really sure if it would work. Especially since I have no means of hiring my first choice Josh Groban as my stand-in.
But all in all, I never really needed to. I'm happy where I am in my life. I'm married to a wonderful girl, living in New York, and patiently awaiting to be reunited with my cat Georgie Fruit. The fact is, I have it really good, even if I never did manage to invent dinosaurs or those cinnamon scented pinecones that turn up around Christmas time. Even if I never do (although I assume there are still so many things that I could make cinnamon scented) I'll still be happy. Maybe it's just me, but I'm really looking forward to what the next five years will bring too.