Becoming Jane Review

So I've met this girl through facebook ever since she friended me after reading one of my movie reviews for Becoming Jane. I think that was a run-on sentence, but it's okay. Anyways, she's really cool, and I was kind of worried the review would get lost in the great facebook archives, so I posted it here.

Here's the trailer for what I went to go see:

Here's the trailer for what I actually saw:

Becoming Jane

I thought it was odd that the theatre was filled with so many old people and teenage girls when I first sat down, but I quickly shrugged it off and thought it was good to see that these people were broadening their horizon's. About ten seconds into the opening credits I realized "Oh, crap. This isn't the 'Hot Rod' screening is it?" No, it wasn't Hot Rod. In fact, this was the anti-Hot Rod, and ironically, I would be the one to broaden my own horizons. Vanity Fair- I'm sorry, I mean Becoming Jane, wasn't terrible. It was just like every other period piece. Only problem is, I liked this movie better when it was called "Pride and Prejudice." Yeah, I get it, this is based off of Jane Austen's real life, and for those of you (Ladies, I presume) who live and die by all things Jane, you'll enjoy the incessant book references that went completely over my head. And I'm pretty sure there were some sexual references I didn't pick up on either.
This movie was obviously above my level.

About fifteen minutes into it I realized the only way I would ever enjoy something like this is if I were to wear a monocle, a top hat, and frequently sigh in a high pitched voice, "Oh dear!" "I do say!" or "Good show Governor!"
Unfortunately, I had to sit for two uncomfortable hours while the women around me gasped intermittently.

I like most "chick flicks." I saw the Devil Wears Prada three times while it was in the theatres, 13 Going on Thirty was amazing, I cried at Moulin Rouge. I understand. I have a friend who lives for all things Jane Austin, and I can practically see her curled up in her seat nudging on Jane to follow her heart. But I also have another friend, a guy, who would probably have as much fun watching this movie as he would being locked in a "Forever 21" store for forty eight hours straight.
The good actors and eye-candy (Hathaway) make it tolerable, but unfortunately none of them are given a chance to truly shine. Everything else is strictly run of the mill. The story itself is never engaging, resulting in frequent losses of attention and possible blackouts.
When it comes down to it, the movie needed more explosions, breasts, and possible web-slinging. What I'm trying to say is, and believe me that I would never say this other than in regards to this film, it needed to be a little more like "Crank."
Just go rent something more enjoyable instead.

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