My Camping Adventure

Camping - Chimes Opinions
Zachary Newcott

After strategically placing bowls of cat food around the apartment, we decided that Georgie Fruit would be well occupied for the next two days while Beth and I set out to go camping with her roommate and her fiance Jared. I myself had only been camping once before as a cub scout, and apart from my sewing and tie-tying badges I considered myself to be somewhat of a novice at the sport. Luckily I consider Jared to be a lumberjack of sorts because he has a beard, so we were in good hands.

We arrived at the campsite a bit later than expected, mostly because someone (me) had eaten Indian food before-hand and was too stubborn to admit he had made a horrible mistake. This resulted in our first obstruction which came in the form of a gate with a lock on it. Although the sign next to the gate said "camp ground 2 miles away," I took this to mean, "you are fully capable of walking 2 miles even though you spend hours at a time sitting at your computer while clicking refresh on Facebook status updates and refuse to eat most things unless they can be consumed through a straw (blended Indian food)."

Picking up our gear we started to make the hike. Despite my constant requests, Jared refused to carry me on his shoulders, especially since after the first time I demanded he gallop like a pony. I had the task of carrying the drinking water, which didn't last long seeing how dusty my boots kept getting. After the third mile we had to come to terms with the fact that the National Park Service is made up of a bunch of rotten liars with a bunch of rotten lying signs.

It was Halloween weekend, and myself, being a rational man, refused to enter the porto-potty after realizing that the monster of the film Jeepers Creepers, who is also named Jeepers Creepers, was most likely hiding inside of it. We continued our trek, yet we suddenly stopped in our tracks after being terrified by a screetching owl who then quickly flew off afterwards, having successfully fulfilled his goal of making me soil myself. Realizing that I had packed no second pair of pants, I knew it was going to be a long trip.

Eventually we arrived at the camp ground. I was disappointed to find that there was no refrigerator to speak of (bad news for the left-over Indian food) and that the only concierge level I could find was comprised entirely of hungry coyotes and mountain lions. We set up our tent and made our way off to bed. Meanwhile I discovered that our tent lacked air conditioning, solid walls, and was entirely missing other rooms. Sleep was made difficult by the endless string of coyote howls combined with my snoring which resulted in frequent slaps to my face and sharp jabs at my sides.

Although the next day involved walking back three miles to pick up the car, I found the isolation nature has to be calming. True, the peace was frequented by passing jets and relentless coyote howling, yet to be in a place without cell-phones and where the only distractions to be found are reading a book, or being read a book by someone else when said book doesn't have enough pictures, is a refreshing chance for a brief escape.

Beth and I returned to her apartment to find that Georgie had found his food cache's immediately after we left, and was both hungry and angry. With several angry swipes at our hands, we poured him a bowl-full. It seems that even nature likes the conveniences of the modern age. Feeling the soft comfort of the carpeting under my feet, I realized I do too.

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