This week the Chimes remembers that they forgot to call their mothers on Mothers Day.
Day One - Forget to Call Your Mom Day
After waiting an entire year, Mothers Day has finally arrived. It's practically Christmas 2, except instead of getting presents you get asked what you're planning to do with your life once you graduate and when you're coming home next. On this day think of mother as you remind yourself to call her later. During dinner remember once again but push it back to a time when you don't have food in your mouth. Much later that night furrow your brow as you watch a rerun of How It's Made and wonder what it was you were supposed to do today.
Day Two - Realize You Forgot to Call Mom Day
Slap yourself on the forehead when your phone rings and sink low into your seat. Briefly deceive yourself into thinking that maybe Mothers Day is actually not for another week, and then be slammed into harsh reality as you answer your phone to the berating yells of your own Mother. Try to explain to her that you were busy, it wasn't the right time, and that you'll make it up to her later. In fact, you have something in the mail right now. When asked why you were so busy, mentally note not to mention Call of Duty 4. She just wouldn't understand.
Day Three - Resent Mothers Day Day
Why? I ask you. Why? It's as though this entire holiday was designed with the sole purpose of giving your mother another reason to be disappointed in you. On this day give a frustrated sigh numerous times while glaring at Hallmark cards at the store. It's their fault, really.
Day Four - Buy Flowers Day
Flowers make everything better, chocolates doubly so. Chocolate flowers? Now that's just absurd. Send them. On this day do everything you can to make up for your slip of the mind by sending whatever says "I love you Mom." Although you might think you're above it, you might want to consider making her a macaroni necklace and/or a hand turkey in finger paint. Parents dig that type of stuff.
Day Five - Mail Day
On this day make sure your little reminders of appreciation will get to Mother on time, and by "on time" I mean "slightly less late." Go to the post office and again slap your forehead when you notice the price of postage these days. Whisper a prayer for the flowers as you stuff them into a manila envelope along with whatever else fits.
Day Six - Follow Up With Mom
On this day give mom a call to make sure she got your package. With any luck, and lots of love, your little Mothers Day snafu will be completely paved over. In any case, be sure to once again avoid defending your plans for the future by saying "I love you mom." Then wipe your brow in relief knowing you won't have to worry about another pesky Mother's Day for another 366 days. Well done my friend.
5.14.2009
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