Chimes - Opinions Article - Lucky Orphans

I apologize for my recent lack of posting. Lots has been a going on in these parts with the Biola Film Festival and apartment do-dads and Biology. I've kind of been stressing out lately. Hopefully my recent Chimes article will keep you up to date.

Chimes Opinions Article - 05/05/09
by Zachary Newcott

Some might criticize my lack of proper sportsmanship when my entry at the Biola Film Festival did not take home any awards, but to them I say if leaving a bag of flaming dog excrement in front of the dorm rooms of the winning nominees is so wrong, maybe I don't want to be right. What's so great about a documentary about a group of orphans from Uganda anyway? I swear, it's like those kids get all the breaks. Like we don't have enough documentaries about the less-fortunate already. Please. That movie didn't have one explosion.

Granted. Maybe I counted my eggs a tad too soon before they launched. I do suppose my chosen attire for the festival, including a monocle, top-hat, and a neatly trimmed mustache was a little too hoighty-toighty for some tastes, but did it mean nothing when said monocle fell out of my eye as I gasped in shock in reaction to the winning nomination? Apparently not.

Luckily my girlfriend Beth accompanied me to the awards show and managed to prevent me from doing some most-likely regrettable things to the punchbowl at the reception, including, but not limited to, flipping it over after screaming "Oh, I'm sorry, Uganda finish that?!" Beth harshly critiqued the poor pun choice.

I controlled myself to the best of my abilities throughout the rest of the award ceremony, only twice walking onstage when I misheard my name. After being escorted out of the theatre for my excessively sarcastic congratulations to other award winners, and returning my best-supporting actress trophy, I was kicked to the curb.

As if fate wasn't cruel enough, when I returned home I was informed by my roommate Micah that there were nine days left for me to decide whether or not to continue living at the same apartment, at which point I would either be kicked out or be force-fed the dirty litter from our cat Stig until I paid up. Taking my chances, I stalled for time whilst Stig feasted on tuna treats.

With the semester coming to a close, sometimes it may seem that the world is entirely against you, and if not the world then at least your Biology class which regrettably meets at 8:30 in the morning. It's a sick world we live in.

Feeling even more down and out than usual, Beth took me to the park where we spent some quality time on the swings.

It's not only that I'm jealous of those Ugandan orphans and their slick documentary, I tried to explain, it's just that I'm worried about what I'll do now that I failed to beat them mercilessly in the world of filmmaking.

In terms that I can understand, which involves action-figures and food, Beth explained to me that I can't worry too much about what tomorrow holds. Each day has it's own challenges we have to face, but with them comes opportunities to make life better for not only yourself, but everyone else. After all, there may be plenty of Ugandan orphans, but there's only one Zack Newcott.

With this I finally understood. Although it could be said I did the ethically right thing in letting the Ugandan orphans win this award (possibly making me eligible for a Nobel Peace Prize *WINK*), even if I end up living in a cardboard box behind Home Depot and flailing my arms wildly to keep my grades afloat, there's still opportunities to make the world a better place the only way I can.

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