By Zachary Newcott
WOO! Spring Break! This time Day By Day is going wild by celebrating at the beach all week long.
Monday - Find A Spot At The Beach Day
For something that spans an entire coast line, the beach is surprisingly crowded, especially when spring break comes along and it’s time to party. On this day drive around various neighborhoods trying to find a spot to park. Slowly follow a family to their parking spot before realizing they’re just putting away an umbrella. Curse Poseidon for his inconvienience.
Tuesday - Fend Off Seagulls Day
There’s nothing like a lunch at the beach. On this day realize why it’s called a sandwich after finding seashells inside of your hoagie. Try to brush off some of the sand and realize you’re only making things worse. Once the seagulls catch wind of what you’re eating make sure to cover your eyes as they pick clean the rest of your picnic. It’s a sick world we live in.
Wednesday - Forget the Suncreen Day
On this day make sure to go to the beach and get a dosage of mild radiation when you forget the sunscreen lotion. Be sure to ask yourself later how exactly you managed to burn the bottoms of your feet. Console yourself by imagining how your red complexion will soon turn to an even bronze tan once the burn disappears in the form of flakey skin. Then wince in pain when you accidentally scratch a mosquito bite.
Thursday - Dramatically Cast Something Out To Sea Day
Whether it's ashes, shells, or a simple bottle, nothing dramatizes the way you feel inside quite like casting an object out to sea. Be sure to note the brevity of life by screaming "Go back from whence you came!" before the toss. As the sun sets it's preferable to have a single tear roll down your cheek. Simple, yet dignified.
Friday - Desperately Try To Fly A Kite Day
When a kite manages to take full sail it can be a wondrous and exhilarating experience. When there's no wind out on the sand however, it could be the loneliest experience of your life. On this day repeatedly run as fast as you can before having your kite pitifully crash back into the ground after a mere five seconds of time in the air. Once the kite finally does manage to make it off the ground for an extended period of time, relish your accomplishment before realizing that there's not much else to do with a kite once it rises several yards above you.
Weekend - Find Sand Everywhere Day
Just because the week is ending doesn't mean your beach party has to end! Luckily for you the beach insists to come back to your apartment the only way it can. On these days discover that not only everything you own, but even parts of your body are still caked with a fine layer of sand. Be sure to relive your time at the ocean each time you repeatedly slam your shoes upside down against the wall and watch a cascade of sand flow to the floor. Eat a sandwich and feel the familiar crunching sensation of sand in your teeth. Now it can be Spring Break 24/7!
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