Lady and the Clamp

Last night I attended a post-christmas pre-new-years-eve party with Beth. It was being held over at my sister-in-law's home and was accompanied by a host of very tasty, at times even fancy, treats.

Now anyone who knows me also knows that I don't often react well to anything fancy. If the bow doesn't have a clip-on, then chances are it's going to end up tied around my head like a bandanna. Luckily, the food was delicious, but I ran into a problem when Beth and I wanted to try the pizza-like dish covered in delectible feta cheese. This particular entree was prepared on a thin crispy crust, one that would easily crumble upon the first bite.

Unsure of what to do in this situation, Beth and I decided the best course of action would be to eat it "Lady and the Tramp" style, with her starting on one end and myself on the other. This method would ensure tasty satisfaction for both partners, while also providing an endearingly sweet moment to share.

As she lifted up the pizza we both leaned forward and began to sink our teeth into the crispy episcenter of delicious cheeziness. Expecting a certain toughness to the crust, I was about to bite down as hard as possible when I experienced a warm and slightly rubbery texture in my mouth. Looking up, Beth's wide painful eyes met mine, and at that moment I realized I was not about to eat pizza, but was actually in the midst of gnawing off my girlfriend's finger.

Luckily, I stopped myself in time before I broke any skin, but not before we both ended up crying in a strange mixture of laughter, and in her case, pain.
It truly is a wonderful life.

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