Yesterday was election day, and although I couldn't vote due to my procrastination in filling out an absentee ballot, I did briefly try to convince my roommate Micah to vote that morning before I left for work. And considering that my opinion concerning the matter made little difference to him, I realized I had effectively recreated the entire elective process through voicing my opinion on the matter and it having no effect whatsoever.
And now we have Barack Obama as President.
Way to go Micah, you son of a b*%#$.
I laughed at this sticker for a solid two hours straight, and then stared disapprovingly at myself in the bathroom mirror for double that amount of time.
Still, some good came out of Election Day, mainly in the way of free stuff. Starbucks was practically tossing to the crowds buckets of free coffee.
Myself, being the kind of person naturally drawn towards anything free, grabbed Beth the second I learned of it and was on my way. However, once we actually arrived at Starbucks, both of us realized that neither one of us actually liked to drink coffee, so instead we went to CVS to grab a couple cans of sweet sweet Arizona iced tea.
After selecting a bottle of a funky new pomegranate flavor, Beth grabbed my arm and stopped me in my tracks. "OH HOLY CRAP." She suddenly said, nearly causing me to drop my bottle in fear.
I looked around briefly saying "What's going o-HOLY CRAP!"
There, in front of us, in the middle of the CVS refrigerated drink section, was the biggest cockroach I have not only ever seen in my life, but every film I have ever watched with the exception of Men In Black.
It scurried back and forth, stopping briefly at a crumb to furiously wiggle it's antenna back and forth.
Meanwhile, Beth and I locked arms and stood completely still.
It can't see you if you stand still, I told myself.
We couldn't look away. It was huge. And no one else was seeing what we were.
Ten minutes later, Beth and I heard the sound of a large cart barreling down the isle. It's projected course was no doubt heading directly towards our roach buddy, who had by this point become completely distracted by a dark smudge on the floor.
At this point we expected one of three things, either the employee pushing the cart would notice the massive beast and scream like a Japanese school girl, the employee would unknowingly crush the roach with the cart, or, as I partly expected, the roach would fly directly at my face and somehow make it's way into my mouth.
Beth and I tensed in fear and anticipation. This was it. This could be the end for our little bug friend.
Then, at that moment, the old woman pushing the cart turned towards us as she continued her way down the isle, looked at the panic stricken expressions pasted across the face of Beth and I, and politely said, "It's okay, don't be afraid."
And she continued on her way.
Our eyes went back to the cockroach, who not only had not been crushed, but didn't move in the slightest. It just continued nibbling at the black smudge with it's antenna whacking the ground.
This creature feared no one and nothing.
But we had to wonder, what exactly did that woman think we were afraid of? Does she commonly come across customers who cower in fear at her presence? If so, I feel sorry, but her kind words of encouragement gave us the strength to turn our heads and leave.