Yesterday was Earth Day.
I know this because Montgomery College gave me free pizza and doughnuts.
I was walking between classes when a random girl walked up to me with a neon-yellow carboard sign and told me. Naturally, I told her I didn't need any hand-outs from the government or anyone else, and then punched her in the face.
But thinking things over I decided I could use a free pizza slice and went to the auditorium anyways.
Part of me was worried I had to listen to a talk or buy a time-share. But surprisingly I was allowed to walk in one door, take pizza, and walk out the other.
So there you have it.
I LOVE EARTH DAY.
This is a picture of what I love sometimes
The best thing about Earth day is that everyone except astronauts can enjoy it.
It's like everyone gets to say, "screw you, smart people who get to ride rockets! I'll be living down here all my life and I get to have free pizza because of it!" Haha, suckers.
It's just a real shame Earth day hasn't been commercialized enough. I haven't recieved one greeting card congratulating me on living on Earth. Do people just think it's easy or something? I think we, and by we I mean I, deserve a day off because of this.
It's practically a religious holiday. Afterall, where did Jesus live? ON EARTH. Where did Martin Luther King fight the Red Coats? ON THIS PLANET. Where did the Astronauts land on the moon? ON EARTHS MOON.
Do I have to spell it out?!
And don't get me started on people who try to use Earth day to increase awareness for pollution. That's not Earth Day, you freaks, that's Nature Day, and it may or may not actually exist. And if it does exist I want to get free pizza on that day too.
So gather together, friends. Come together before your fireplaces this evening and read the story of Earth Day to your loved ones. For it only comes once a year I think.