The Great Debate: Fuji Vs. Gala

History is but the composte we heap upon the names of the forgotten...

I'm not sure entirely what that means, but I thought of it while eating lunch today and thought it sounded epic.
And what better way to start off an epic debate but with a faguely related epic sounding quote from myself?
Correct. There is no better way.

The age old proverb tells us, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." And while science has proven this to be undeniably true in every aspect, still the world is rife with disease. AIDS, for example. To think we could spare so much grief and tragedy just by indulging in a delicious red (or green if you're feeling kinky) apple a day.
Why? I ask. Why do we not continue our treatment when the medicine is LITERALLY growing on the tree's?!
The answer is simple. It is because we tire of the taste of these scrumptious fruits. If we are in any way going to save ourselves, nay, the world, then we will have to settle for only the best of the best apples. Only the elite in regards to taste, color, size, and ability to weather the elements of melted caramel or sugary toppings.
Granny Smith, some say. The FOOLS! We're not talking about your MOMMA'S apples! We're talking about the BEST! We're talking about the forbidden fruit, the one undeniably delicious treat that NATURALLY hangs from the branches and NATURALLY gets plucked after it has NATURALLY been genetically altered and cultivated by the Tohoku Research Station in Japan!
Yes, my fellow colleagues, I speak of the Fuji apple.
Now this apple has come under some degree of fire from advocates of it's bastard cousin, the Gala apple.
Now it is time that I defended it's honor.
You Gala followers, your skin is as thin as the apple you cling to! Your flesh is as soft and spongey as that which lurks around your apples core! Go ahead, bite into the bland insides of your chosen fruit, see what it bares you! I hope its mash-potato like essence sooths your gums, you old bags!
You will never feel the delightful crispness, the fullness, and thick healthy red skin that the Fuji apple is reknown for. You may never bask in it's sweetness and satisfying texture.
But there is still time. You can change your ways and turn to the goodness that is Fuji.

I also hear GoRalls Genet is pretty good. Golden Delicious too.
Maybe just forego all this and eat a carrot instead.
I hear they're good for your eyes.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is an informative exposition on the merits of Gala and Fuji apples. It was a nice reward for my googling efforts.