I apologize for not posting much this weekend. I've found myself to be a bit sick, and posting songs or reviews with the sniffles just doesn't feel the same.
The good news is that I've found what I consider easily one of the best video's in existence. This is it.
So without further adeu, I want you to watch this, in it's entirety, and then tell me exactly what the eff is going on.
No. I have no idea.
Apparently it's a video used to teach proper business card ettiquette in Japan.
It's a real shame because I've been crushing business cards and then staring at my business associates with an expression mixed with anger and sheer bliss, for years.
Perhaps what I like most about this video is how the background is clearly green screen, a somewhat surreal and inexplicable fact when taken into account how hard it could be to find a bland brick wall to film against.
I've missed lots of the strange happenings in Japan. Including this new exciting gameshow involving a "sticky wall of tape," a pit filled with flour, and a group of three or four people at the bottom mocking the participants.
Or this, a game where participants cover themselves in a strange oily substance, then water slide onto a giant gameboard where they have to grab onto a small round handhold.
The best part? Take a look about fifty seconds into that. Yeah, the host appears to be a mentally disturbed man, dressed as a woman. It's just the little cherry the Japanese have managed to place upon the top of the greatest pieces of entertainment available.
This comes to a story I've been meaning to share, but simply haven't.
One of my favorite things about Japan are their toys. Specifically this one. (which someone has been kind enough to mix footage of with Terminator 2)
Some people call it a stress pig. Which makes sense because it smells strange, is painted badly, and is clearly filled with an unidentifiable liquid. It stresses me out just looking at it, which is brilliant because I want to unleash that stress on the pig itself. So what we have here is a neverending cycle of smashing pigs.
So, wanting to share my bliss, I stuffed a smashing pig in an envelope (covered in a layer of bubble tape) and sent it to a lovely lady. In my haste I briefly considered how a smashing pig would manage a cross-country journey, but then thought if it managed to get here from the land of the rising sun, it could certainly manage to get to California in one piece.
Well, I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong. Especially when my plans literally burst inside the package, probably ruining several other letters and causing a major collapse within the post office infrastructure.
No, the pig didn't make it. And the lovely lady had to retrieve a pig-juice soaked envelope from the University post office.
What lessons have I learned from this? Always have a backup pig. The Japanese are only as crazy as I am. And always crush business cards while giving them the crazy eye.